Recently I took a little weekend trip with the everlasting friend to celebrate our birthdays. I call her that because I've known her for 32 years but we have been close for the last 18. She's closer than a sister to me, we love like sisters and fight like them too. We can and have duked it out but we have always made it to the other side. This is deep friendship to me. You cannot escape conflict in relationships, but you can grow depth in them through the trying times. She knows me. And I know her. We laughed til we cried and we cried til the giggles came. It was the best time.
And there we were laughing and crying in my hubs little sporty car (we wanted to drive something not resembling our mom-mobiles) talking 100 miles an hour and driving 80 miles an hour and then it happened. A big ol' bobcat right in front of my car. BAM. I hit him dead on. Pardon the pun.
Yes, I was watching the road.
No, I was not on my phone.
No, I was not messing with the radio.
That poor doomed bobcat leaped right in front of my car and there was nothing to do. Swerving at 80 miles an hour would have hurt more than that bobcat. Needless to say we did pull over, totally shaken, and that poor animal left this world but before he did, he took vengeance out on our car. Light dangling, grill smashed in, bumper a few inches from the highway floor...$2000 damage to the hubs car. He's up in bobcat heaven laughing his tail off I am sure. A few miles and towns later, we found some kind body shop guys who, while laughing at us, did duct tape the car so we could be on our merry way. It was only a few hours into our weekend but the adventure was well underway.
My very witty friend, who was trying to shift gears back to the fun direction, came up with "bobcat splat". Us 1 Bobcat 0.
Nothing is going to stop us from our weekend of the "no-kid zone", touring the wineries, and eating to our heart's content. Even if we have to drag our bumper 300 miles down the highway.
Somehow, I thought that experience would be the most adventurous thing that happened that weekend. I mean, it's all downhill from here, right? WRONG.
Later that evening, after we had a little dinner and strolling through some shops, we decided to pop into the brewery to check it out. We sat down and immediately, like girls do, she left to go to the bathroom.
SHE LEFT ME. No big deal. It's a restaurant. I can sit at a table by myself for 5 minutes. But I never will again.
And there he was. Asking if he could buy me a drink. Me, a 37 year old mother of 3, happily married mind you, with my wedding ring flashing in his face. I turned around to politely say "no thank you". But when I looked up, there was a 78 year old man standing there. YEP. Could have been my grandpa.
Oh, I thought I was getting hit on!
It's a grandpa!
He's just being nice!
Confession time: I didn't know what to say. For some reason, if it had been someone my own age, I could have easily said "thanks but no thanks" but grandpa threw me off. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. So, I did what any good friend would do. I pawned it off on her. She has no problem being direct. Except for this night. So, for a lengthy amount of time he sat with us. Telling us the story of how he came to be a cattle man owning ranches from Texas to Colorado, his 3 wives (while trying to get me to be his 4th, turns out old gramps was hitting on me), his children and grandchildren, his oil wells, and telling us Bible stories. It was an odd conversation.
This man is used to people being interested in him because of what he can offer them.
But we just listened to him. Just sat there while he told his story. No agenda. Hoping he felt value for himself beyond what he can give.
We finally parted ways.
I hope that night was one less lonely one in his world. I hope he felt seen and heard. I wish I could tell him that he is more than his success or his money because I am sure that is all people see when they look at him. I wish I could tell him that he matters, that he is loved beyond measure by Someone because of who he is, not what he has.
In the end, I do for sure know one thing. I am going to the bathroom with my friend next time. We made a pact to not be left alone the rest of the weekend. There's a whole other story for Saturday night. I am too old for this.
L.
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